Telegram from the outer rim...

HOMESTEAD UNDER SIEGE STOP
ENEMY COWS STOP
SEND HELP STOP
~*~

Two cows have broken in and are eating our grass.

Let me just repeat that: two parties of bovine persuasion have wrongfully entered our premises and are committing grand theft pasture.

As I soon discovered when I went outside (and yegods the wind is cold!), cows could care less about puny humans. They won't walk into you, but they won't be turned, either. They might be timorous beasties (*might*), but they're *big, heavy* timorous beasties. I don't want to get under their hooves.

Not being livestock people ourselves, we don't have any means of containing them (eg, movable electric fencing), so we left them to graze. Tomorrow morning we'll call the people what needs to be called, and hopefully they'll be returned to wherever they came from. They'd just better stay away from the hazels >:(.

I AM BESIEGED BY KINE! *wails, flails*